The Ballad of Agatha Bilke

There’s a girl out there and she’s not very nice
Her name is Agatha – she’s worse than lice
Got to be careful, watch out watch out
Remember hide the matches when she’s about

Agatha Agatha
She wants to start a fire
Agatha Agatha
It’s her one desire
She’s out of control – who will stop her?
Got to tell you kids that it just aint proper

Paul hates toast, it gives him nightmares
With Miriam it’s meteorites that make her scared
Brenda won’t talk, she has to yell
And Barry speaks funny which is all very well

Interesting children with lots of problems
We don’t know if they’ll ever solve ‘em
The Humphrey doctors try to work them out
- They won’t have a chance if Agatha’s about

Agatha Agatha
She wants to start a fire
Agatha Agatha
It’s her one desire
She’s out of control – who will stop her?
Got to tell you kids that it just aint proper

She’s awful, she’s bad
She’s nasty as well
If she doesn’t mend her ways
She’ll end up in jail

She’s mean, she’s cruel
She’s a repeat offender
Perhaps she never had
Someone to defend her
(No, that’s wrong, she isawful)

Agatha Agatha
She wants to start a fire
Agatha Agatha
It’s her one desire
Agatha Agatha
She wants to start a fire
Agatha Agatha
It’s her one desire
She’s out of control – who will stop her?
Got to tell you kids that it just aint proper
Agatha

Lyrics: Dowdie Music: The Bears