Inspector Coddles, officer of the law, has been dispatched to speak to Siân Pattenden.
Madam, did you ever go to school?
Up to the age of 11 I attended local schools in Twickenham. After that I lived off nuts and berries near the railway tracks.
Hm. How do you get inspiration for your books?
By paying close attention to the news and mixing it up with ideas I might have while feasting on a nut or berry.
How can you bring yourself to write about someone as awful as Agatha Bilke?
I feel it is my moral duty. She is bad and must be sorted out, so to speak.
Have you ever set fire to anything with mischief in mind?
No, I am a law-abiding citizen.
Do you draw the illustrations yourself?
Yes. I do.
Thank you. I am assured that your reader – assuming you have one – will be vastly unsatisfied with this questioning. Good work.